02-2-2018, 11:13 PM | #1 |
I'm okay I guess
|
[University - Engrish] Feedback On My Report Please?
I was hoping some of you kind people would help me with improving my writing by providing any feedback on my report. I was specifically wanting help with making sure my intro is solid, it is clear throughout, and that it flows well when I am changing topics.
I had to write a report on a specialization I am interested in in my chosen field (Psychology) and several other things were required in the report. If you want to know more about what was required, below is what the professor wanted specifically: Overview Research types of specializations which interest you the most in your chosen field. Choose the specialization that holds the most interest for you, and draft a report which provides an introduction to that particular specialization, including an explanation of why that specialization is of interest to you. A good place to start your research is O*Net OnLine, which provides detailed information about occupations in a variety of different fields. Any feedback is appreciated, no matter how small. Edit: link was removed because the report was submitted and I don't care to get any more feedback on this report. It also had Personally Identifiable Information in it so I didn't want the link being up forever. I probably should've edited out my personal details looking back on it now, lol. Last edited by sweet2kill210; 02-4-2018 at 02:13 AM.. Reason: Google Doc link removed to protect privacy. |
02-3-2018, 12:52 AM | #2 | ||
Carry your failures proud
Join Date: Sep 2015
Age: 23
Posts: 644
|
Re: [University - Engrish] Feedback On My Report Please?
Did a quick markup of things that stuck out to me on the first read through, will look at it more closer later after my own school work.
__________________
Quote:
Quote:
|
||
02-3-2018, 01:34 AM | #3 | |
I'm okay I guess
|
Re: [University - Engrish] Feedback On My Report Please?
Quote:
Writing has never been my strong point, haha. |
|
02-3-2018, 09:19 AM | #4 | |
longing
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,680
|
Re: [University - Engrish] Feedback On My Report Please?
honestly i feel like alot of things are irrelevant or are like, meaningless statements. ill just be straightforward with an example:
ex. 1 Quote:
To me, this is like, a very stark transition between ideas. Just things like this in general - I find with writing, it's better to be concise, and have every statement matter. You just need to work on your transitions and such I feel, I dunno I personally would have like, written about how many applications in general are developed for things like this, and then briefly mentioned the specific one you used.. I'm getting too distracted but then you could like, transition into what you want to do by saying how despite application development being blah blah blah, you would rather work in a laboratory setting because... etc edit: With writing, just think of it like this - every single sentence or statement should have an explicit reason for being there, and actually add something to the topic. Last edited by Dinglesberry; 02-3-2018 at 09:26 AM.. |
|
02-4-2018, 02:10 AM | #5 |
I'm okay I guess
|
Re: [University - Engrish] Feedback On My Report Please?
Just wanted to let everyone know the report was turned in. All the feedback was much appreciated.
|
02-4-2018, 10:52 AM | #6 |
Washed and Irrelevant D7
Join Date: May 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1,804
|
Re: [University - Engrish] Feedback On My Report Please?
Well if you need help in the future with editing essays just message me in Discord. I happen to be an English major so it would be mutually beneficial lol
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
|
|