Last Moments of Your Life

[Coolboyrulez0]

As I stand here I feel something is not right.
My body tenses up and my senses begin to fade.
The world around me becomes alive and envelopes my very being.
I try to escape. I try to run. It is to no avail.
I am consumed by the mere thoughts of a being that I cannot comprehend.
Ah, finally at peace... My earthly life ends here...

https://soundcloud.com/cbr/last-moments-of-your-life

[ScylaX]

Well that was nasty in the good sense.

[Coolboyrulez0]

Originally Posted by KgZ

I like the concept of the piece and I understand how you approached it. I think you composed it a little too literally at times, which in turn makes it come across as a little bit cheesy.

As a listener I want to feel surprised by something totally unexpected by the music. I would suggest that if you start using repetitive motifs like this, that you create more subtle changes in the music- this is where automation and programming cool effects with midi really shines through.

Completely agree with you here.
I'll actually work on this one a bit more and incorporate more effects (wind / heart beat perhaps) and work on automation or on shaping the sounds throughout the work moreso than now.
An obvious extension would also be proper for an "ambient" work such as this. Thanks for the critique.

[Crazyjayde]

I'll actually work on this one a bit more and incorporate more effects (wind / heart beat perhaps)

Oh god please no. At least tell me that they won't be too "recognizable", else it will tend to sound, as Kgz said, in the more concrete way of things. It might be to your advantage to transform the sounds and progression in a less recognizable manner. To experiment on that feeling of abstract comprehension.

I also feel like it would be perfect it you could cut at 1:50, perhaps the last repetition is too predictable and "closes" the whole track. You might as well make the ending sudden. That way, it leaves a void in the track, where the listener anticipates the last sound, which is missing; something that is not.

Nonetheless I love the concept, and I believe I heard this exact same pattern (and audio) in a japanese horror game. Might be Fatal Frame or Ju On, can't figure out. So my point is that it's a tension builder and the spacing between the sounds are perfect. It also accentuates the fact that it does not seem to happen in a timeline proper to the tangible world, but rather is a subjective experience. You've got something nice cooking.

If dreamscape would be a word, it would be it. Like a man dying in his sleep, where the last moments of his life are unknown. At least that's what I perceive.

[V-Ormix]

This track is deep 8)