New Church

[plasmix]

Today, my whole church moved into a new one like 5 minutes away from my house. Half of the buildings were half done and the service had to be done in the Tenants Hall.

However, just outside the door, there's this fat person playing the bagpipes.

The scary thing is, I couldn't tell if it was a guy or not.

*shudder*Kilts.*shudder*

[Anonymous]

I dont goto church, so this doesnt concern me. But I have business with that man, as in an M4 and a Deagle. To his head...

[MalReynolds]

I started my own religeon after getting ordained.

It basically follows that there is a God, there was a Jesus, but the rest was bullcrap.

We should be able to pratice how we want. I believe in God, Jesus, Homosexulaity, Abortions, and ply blend clothing. That makes me pretty damn unique, as religeons go. And the thing about my religeon is, I add new beleifs as I see fit.


Anyway...


Mal

[Sinjin]

Re: New Church

Today, my whole church moved into a new one like 5 minutes away from my house. Half of the buildings were half done and the service had to be done in the Tenants Hall.

However, just outside the door, there's this fat person playing the bagpipes.

The scary thing is, I couldn't tell if it was a guy or not.

*shudder*Kilts.*shudder*

Hey, c'mon Plasmix. I was born in Scotland.

SAE WHEESHT, BAIRN, AR'ALL GOW APESHITE ON YER ARSE! HO HO HO, AW OCH AYE, I'M FUNNY....

[jewpinthethird]

I started my own religeon after getting ordained.

It basically follows that there is a God, there was a Jesus, but the rest was bullcrap.

We should be able to pratice how we want. I believe in God, Jesus, Homosexulaity, Abortions, and ply blend clothing. That makes me pretty damn unique, as religeons go. And the thing about my religeon is, I add new beleifs as I see fit.


Anyway...


Mal

Word. But My Jesus could kick your Jesus' ass. Mine has a Jetpack.

[SotN]

The Adventures of Kung-Fu Jesus and His Amazing Giant Robot!

[MalReynolds]

Dude, my Jesus has an axe thats +9 against organized religion. If you get in range... WATCH OUT! He'll smite the hell out of your Jesus.


Mal

EDIT: Cause I can't spell religion worth a crap.

[nestlekwik]

I'm ordained too. Anyone can be ordained through the Universal Church of Life.
I can't remember the website, but you can actually be ordained for free online. I seriously didn't beleive it and went through the whole process, but they seriously ordain you and give you a certificate you can print out. I guess the printed certificate is valid in 46 states, so I could technically do Rev. Kwik type procedures.

[Moogy]

I can see it now... "LET THE HOLY POWER OF THE ARROWS CLEANSE THE DEMONS FROM THIS MAN'S SOUL!" etc. etc.

[RobbyZero]

I started my own religeon after getting ordained.

It basically follows that there is a God, there was a Jesus, but the rest was bullcrap.

We should be able to pratice how we want. I believe in God, Jesus, Homosexulaity, Abortions, and ply blend clothing. That makes me pretty damn unique, as religeons go. And the thing about my religeon is, I add new beleifs as I see fit.


Anyway...


Mal

aannddddd....how old are you?

anyways thats fucken insane....

[Moogy]

I should start the Moogy religion. In order to be in it, you have to pay me one dollar. It'll be really awesome! And it's only a dollar!

[dontcareaboutmyid]

its called an offering if you don't want to be sued cause technically churches can't say give me money unless you want to go to hell.

very few people would join.

i think i'll stick to christianity of the lutheran style thank you much

[Moogy]

Have you ever heard of something called a "joke"?

[Falcon]

i think i'll stick to christianity of the lutheran style thank you much

word... except minus lutheran and add nondenominational.

[MalReynolds]

I'm sixteen, and full in my rights to be a minister.

www.universalministries.com is where I did it. Valid in all the states.

And for my church: There is no strict rule set, as gods word is forever changing.

Many people argue that Homosexuality is an abomination, as stated in the Bible. Well, so is eating shellfish, and wearing polyblend clothing. According to the bible, we can purchase slaves, as long as they are from neighboring countries. We can sell our daugthers into slavery, and if we are in a war, we are allowed to take one woman back with us to be our concubines. And sowing 2 types of seed in 1 field would get you killed.

Thats why I don't particularly follow the bible. Gods word is ever changing.

And, my Jesus has a +9 Axe against organized Relgion.


Mal