Need opinions for issue with gf

[justaguy]

Originally Posted by Mollocephalus

In a working relationship a bit of adaptation is necessary. Not changing yourself entirely, but learning to shape your way of being considering the other person's desires and needs is the solution imho. This is not the case though, as your girl is getting her panties in a bunch for something that is objectively harmless. If for every little thing that goes wrong (this IS a little thing afterall) you say it's better to break up, how do you think you can ever have a long-term relationship?

whatup necros with the knowledge guys listen in

also id like to add that the more u permit situations like this to occur the more u enable that behavior in the future. aka if u dont stomp your feet and assert yourself youre basically worthless.

Coolboyrulez da man

[Emanresu13]

you shouldn't break up with her over this, but put your foot down and if she wants to break up with you then let her go

almost what other people said

[massflavour]

Originally Posted by justaguy

whatup necros with the knowledge guys listen in

also id like to add that the more u permit situations like this to occur the more u enable that behavior in the future. aka if u dont stomp your feet and assert yourself youre basically worthless.

Coolboyrulez da man

yep he pretty much nailed it

forced change is hard gay though

[25thhour]

Muddyfuck her then make her give you head.

[newgrounds]

this nig whipped no balls what so eva!

[_Stepdude_]

I'd tell her that she's being ridiculous about it and that you're NOT going to stop calling your best friend by a nickname. If she flips tell her she's a baby and that she's not ready for for a serious relationship.

[justaguy]

im pretty sure ur not ready for a serious relationship because u post 30 pictures of urself a month in the pyp thread

[ddrkid007]

Originally Posted by smartdude1212

The asshole in me wants to tell your girlfriend to stop being a pussy little bitch about it.

The concerned forum poster in me wants to tell your girlfriend nearly the same thing.

My new signature.

[Sakish]

Originally Posted by Aldentron

you sound like a nerd and your girlfriend is trying to make you sound less nerdy because your nickname for your ex is m'lady dragonborne or some shit and she don't wanna be seen with no scrub

Tryhard.

Well havent seen her for a while due to she being in Finland over holidays etc.

I'll update this when i've talked this through with her

[massflavour]

Originally Posted by justaguy

im pretty sure ur not ready for a serious relationship because u post 30 pictures of urself a month in the pyp thread

LMFAO

[d4u7211]

!!!INCOMING DUMP!!!

Originally Posted by funmonkey54

It's entirely irrelevant whether or not you think you have a good reason to maintain the nickname for your friend. The fact that it bothers her should be enough of a reason to stop using it.

That's called being whipped. If he is going to have to walk on eggshells over that bullshit, she may not be mature enough yet to understand that she should trust him - either that or she didn't have the situation explained well enough to her to understand it's harmless. It is in no way his fault.

Originally Posted by ice_lazer3

Unless the nickname is somehow suggestive, I don't think there's a legitimate reason for you to stop using the nickname. But yeah, make sure your gf understands that a nickname does not equal liking that person and that things between you and your ex are completely platonic. Also keep in mind jealousy's a fairly common thing, and depending on how long you and your current gf have been going out for, seeing how close you and your ex may cause her to be a bit mad. (I don't think that's a reason to stop hanging out with your ex, this just means you have to talk this through with your gf.)

Maybe you can even try giving your current gf a nickname :P

This. The whole "give her a nickname" is a nice idea. Girls especially in relationships generally get jealous of their guy's ex(es). That's not always necessarily a trust issue, just a concern.

Originally Posted by smartdude1212

The asshole in me wants to tell your girlfriend to stop being a pussy little bitch about it.

The concerned forum poster in me wants to tell your girlfriend nearly the same thing.

:>

Originally Posted by Coolboyrulez0

bunch o' betas up in this --

seriously, you shouldnt have to deal with insecure, commanding, egotistical bitches, so just move on if she freaks out on you just because you use a childhood nickname for your friend.
thats ridiculous and probably just the "tip of the iceberg" of her behaviors towards you or relationships in general.

Sounds like past experiences. This is a possibility. Dude, if this is the first time this girl has flipped out over something, and it's early in the relationship, cbr is probably right in judging this way. If it's been a long relationship with her and she hasn't gotten upset over shit like this, just explain it to her and tell her it isn't a big deal, and that you guys have been buds for a long time.

Originally Posted by Mollocephalus

In a working relationship a bit of adaptation is necessary. Not changing yourself entirely, but learning to shape your way of being considering the other person's desires and needs is the solution imho. This is not the case though, as your girl is getting her panties in a bunch for something that is objectively harmless. If for every little thing that goes wrong (this IS a little thing afterall) you say it's better to break up, how do you think you can ever have a long-term relationship?

True dat. Long relationships won't work with bitches who constantly flip out with trust issues and shit, things only get worse, unless you walk a fine line and make sure you devote yourself to her, which isn't worth it married or not. You do have to give a little in a relationship, change a bit, etc, but not over something this small, because a change should only be for the better of yourself and your SO, not just for the sake of your girlfriend's crazy paranoia.

Originally Posted by Emanresu13

you shouldn't break up with her over this, but put your foot down and if she wants to break up with you then let her go

almost what other people said

Also, if you put your foot down and she DOESN'T want to break up with you but instead gets bitchier, it's time to abandon ship, my friend. The agony that ensues is not worth it.

sort of tl;dr: Tell her that she doesn't need to get upset over it because you and your friend have known each other and called each other that since before the relationship. Let her know that if she gets upset over it, it gives you reason to wonder why she is paranoid over something so small and harmless, and ask her hypothetically why she doesn't seem to trust you. "It's still your ex" is bs, ban her and is a logical fallacy. Just as you said, if you had a friend named, like, William, and you call him Bill, it doesn't mean you are having gay tendencies towards the dude, that's about as ludicrous as what she is concerned about. The only thing I can say that would make me choose her side is if you called her "princess" or "buttercup" or some shit, which is more of a term of endearment pet name rather than just a buddy-buddy nickname.

[funmonkey54]

Originally Posted by d4u7211

That's called being whipped. If he is going to have to walk on eggshells over that bullshit, she may not be mature enough yet to understand that she should trust him - either that or she didn't have the situation explained well enough to her to understand it's harmless. It is in no way his fault.

No, that's called being understanding. And I didn't say it's all his fault. l2r
He can be all macho tough guy about it if he wants. He can stick it in her butt and pee for all I care.

Or, he can actually strive for a lasting relationship. Which requires compromise. Also, you sound like the kind of person that always feels like your companion is "making it your fault." Have fun with those arguments. They get no where because you whine about it always being your fault, when in reality that's just your way of shifting the blame. Which would, of course, make you an expert on problem solving and maturity.

And your concept of maturity is skewed. Maturity would mean taking her feelings into equal consideration and talking out a solid compromise. Or, abandoning the nickname altogether because if calling your friend a certain nickname is worth more than your relationship, you don't have a worthwhile relationship.

Also, conceding in the nickname department is likely to score him brownie points and/or leverage in the next situation, if another comes up. You say "walking on eggshells" like this is a massive sign of things to come. But that's completely assumed information. There is nothing mentioned to suggest that's a reality. Rather, one thing bothers her and she's made a formal request for that thing to be changed. For her. Do you reeeeeallllyy want to put up with the results of a long-standing, underlying discomfort should she not have said something and just let it itch at her over the long run? No.

Originally Posted by Sakish

Alright, I know people will react differently to this and i accept all kinds of answers.

Me and my gf got into a fight today, because.. Well I call my "ex" (why "ex"? because it was like 6 years ago and we were young and w/e) by a nickname, like if you have a friend called dick you'd call him dicky or w/e

SUPER IMPORTANT INFO: We have been friends since we were 13 and i've used that nickname ever since, even before we even were "bf and gf" and she is the friend that i've known the longest in this city that i moved to 6 years ago. We also grew up in the same hometown, became friends there and stayed friends ever since.

So is it really that wierd that I have a nickname for (what we refer as to eachothers) a really good friend? I definately dont see the issue here, she just calls me a bad boyfriend and that I dont get it. I'm confused.

I dont want to stop calling her this because she is the friend that I've known the longest in this world and that feels special to me. My gf however doesnt get this obviously.


Shred me some light, opinions please guys NEED FUCKING HELP T_T

Edit: Since aaron is a dick.

We did have a huge fight about this, I tried to explain this to her but all she could counter with was "she is still your ex" and all I could feel was "so????" what does that even matter when neither of us have those kinds of feelings left.. ;_;

And some things I didn't mention before because I was admittedly too brief.

-It's clear from your language that you are feeling defensive, at least when this was written. You should find a calm time when there are no attacks and there is no hostility to lay this all out for her and explain your feelings in a calm manner. If she is still not willing to make any sort of compromise, then she may in fact be immature. But don't assume that right off the beginning just because it makes her uncomfortable.

-Don't take the "bad boyfriend" comment to heart. In fact, if it really does bother you, you should interpret in two ways. First, you should see from her perspective. If the term "bad boyfriend" wasn't intended to deeply hurt you, but it did, it shows the power of name calling. Even if she didn't intend to invoke as intense of feelings in you as the name did, the feelings still existed. Likewise, even if you don't intend to convey feelings for your friend with the nickname, it makes your girlfriend feel a certain way. Second, you should see this as something worth bringing up with her. Tell her that you really do try in your relationship and that being called a "bad boyfriend" makes you feel unappreciated for your efforts. This is assuming that you do in fact feel these things.

-Finally, recognize that sometimes, underground compromise is the best option. Maybe you could just avoid using the nickname much around your girlfriend. Then feel free to use it whenever she isn't around. That's not a lie or an insult. It's just a fair way to consider her feelings without giving up that bond with your friend.

[d4u7211]

Originally Posted by funmonkey54

Also, you sound like the kind of person that always feels like your companion is "making it your fault." Have fun with those arguments. They get no where because you whine about it always being your fault, when in reality that's just your way of shifting the blame. Which would, of course, make you an expert on problem solving and maturity.

But that's completely assumed information.

Wait a minute...who's doing the assuming here?
Sorry I made you mad because you put up an argument that makes you bend over backwards for a girl, which isn't compromise mind you, because if she gets mad over such little things (which i have the right to assume she does since it seems like she is reluctant to understand his reasoning) it isn't worth it to keep letting her walk all over you. Of course I am assuming, I was only given enough information to assume. but then again if you read the rest of my fucking post i gave a good deal of alternatives and what ifs to cover a range of possibilities. ***i even stated about commented about "giving a little as in change" ie compromise lol***

Next time don't get mad, you gave your opinion, I gave mine, and then you attacked me because you're upset that your opinion didn't receive praise, lolwut

BTW nice sexism bro, assuming it's the "macho" move to tell her to take a hike if she goes ape shit over tiny problems. If they switched spots and he was the one getting upset, and she was asking for help about calling her friend a pet name, I'd say the same damn thing, girl or guy.

Have a nice life digging up old threads because you got your jimmies rustled only so you could get shit on again.

[foilman8805]

give her a dirty sanchez and ask her if she can smell what the rock is cookin'

[~kitty~]

Just keep doing what you have been doing, and like the others said if she wants to end it let her end it. If she just keeps getting worse and worse, end it yourself.

Regardless of what you call your ex, she shouldn't be that upset.

[Syhto]

be compassionate but be clear about the situation with her, people are sensitive, just work through it and love her bro

if you don't then i guess you know, do whatever

[Syhto]

ps idk wtf yall are talking about

[justaguy]

Originally Posted by Syhto

be compassionate but be clear about the situation with her, people are sensitive, just work through it and love her bro

if you don't then i guess you know, do whatever

lmao shut the fuck up

[Frank Munoz]

What you need to do is pull out, then cum

[funmonkey54]

Originally Posted by d4u7211

Wait a minute...who's doing the assuming here?
...I am assuming

K

Originally Posted by d4u7211

you put up an argument that makes you bend over backwards for a girl.

If you honestly think taking her feelings into account to reach an agreement is "bending over backwards," you have no concept of what putting effort into a relationship really means.

Originally Posted by d4u7211

it isn't worth it to keep letting her walk all over you.

She didn't "walk all over him." When you get the emotional influence out of the way, it's just a request to reconsider whether a simple nickname is really worth the negative feelings it invokes in her. Simple as that.

Originally Posted by d4u7211

***i even stated about commented about "giving a little as in change" ie compromise lol***

Even your idea of compromise is along the lines of "Alright bro, if you have to budge a little I GUESS THAT'S OK but make sure it's just a little."

Originally Posted by d4u7211

you gave your opinion, I gave mine, and then you attacked me

Originally Posted by d4u7211

BTW nice sexism bro, assuming it's the "macho" move to tell her to take a hike if she goes ape shit over tiny problems.

That's not sexism. The term "macho" is irrelevant to a certain sex.

Originally Posted by d4u7211

If they switched spots and he was the one getting upset, and she was asking for help about calling her friend a pet name, I'd say the same damn thing, girl or guy.

It's good to know you consistently lack knowledge about relationships.

Originally Posted by d4u7211

Have a nice life digging up old threads because you got your jimmies rustled only so you could get shit on again.

Oh burn.