[MrRubix]

This might be a bit out of place, but I just wanted to reply to that comment about arrogance.

I think when it comes to intelligence, going too far either way on he humility scale can be bad if you're very smart.

Smart people who claim to be nothing special (or who constantly discredit themselves) come across as arrogant to me. I get the impression, "I'm so great that I have to dumb myself down hardcore-style and nuke every one of my strong attributes just to talk to you aiite?" It's also a sort of self-esteem erosion mechanism, because if some gifted dude claims to be nothing special, then what the hell is someone lesser? Retarded?

Similarly, though, people who claim to be fscking hxc also come across as extremely arrogant.

Now, that being said, I'd consider myself a pretty arrogant dude. I attribute it to a few things:

1. Neither one of my parents really praised me for much as I grew up. They cared more about my what my brother was into (mainly football). He was never punished for much, whereas I was punished HARD for insanely retarded things. Neither of my parents went to college. They weren't naturally educated or intelligent, either. I'd try to get better and better at things, but neither one of my parents really seemed to care. As a result, I have a sort of grudge/resentment. Like, I could get scores/grades/college acceptances that only a small handful of people in the country would be able to achieve, and yet my parents didn't bat an eye: "Okay but your brother is going to be much more successful than you. Look at how hard he works! He can lift like four times as much as you can. He's a hard worker. You sit all damn day." At the same time, it angered me that I'd see other parents gushing over their sons/daughters for some lesser accomplishment. While much of my progress was stemmed from natural curiosity and a desire to succeed in life, a lot of it was also to try to spark SOME kind of reaction or interest from my parents. I wanted them to care about what I was doing, and I wanted love and support, but I got little of either. So you can say I am a bit bitter. While I am extraordinarily proud that I am a self-made person, I am extremely pissed off that it was basically the only way for me to get here. I didn't have the educational, financial, or emotional support base from my parents that many of my peers did, and so I am very jealous. Luckily, I had a home to sleep in and a computer -- I have to thank my parents for getting me one early in life, since it was my main source of learning. Even financially, though, I've paid for all my own things ever since I began working years ago, including this absurdly expensive school. Finances only became worse when my father died because then I had to start dumping even more money out just to live at home. People don't realize how easy they have it. I feel like nobody really understands the context of my situation, and it's very isolating. So in some sick way my arrogance is a cry for help or desire for some kind of acknowledgment or understanding for what I've done in life.

2. I get frustrated with people easily when they try to argue with me over something they're incorrect about. This would be different from, say, a debate where you may end up simply agreeing to disagree on some fundamental issue, or being incorrect about something and coming to realize that you were wrong, and correcting your mistake. For instance, I got really frustrated with one of my groups in a Finance course I took. Over and over again, my group would be incorrect when it came to making certain assumptions about a project, or they'd be wrong in the way they calculated something. I'd calmly try to explain to them why they were wrong with tons of evidence, but apparently 3 vs. 1 means I am the wrong one. We'd lose points on the projects consistently, and it bugged the **** out of me that they didn't realize, "Hey, we're constantly losing points every single time we disagree with him" or "Hey he was actually right." The only time we got a perfect score on a project in that class was when I agreed to do the writeup myself (because then I was able to fix everything without them knowing, as I was tired of losing points to their mistakes). What bothers me is that some people either ignore evidence that they are wrong, or are simply unable to understand the evidence.

3. I find that the number of times I am hurt as a result of other people's LACK of intelligence far outweighs the number of times I experience some gain/synergy from PRESENCE of other people's intelligence. A lot of this probably stems from my forced self-support. It's very hard for me to rely on others because I can't trust them, since, empirically, people tend to suck when I put my faith in their word or abilities (even regarding emotional matters). Don't get me wrong though, I do enjoy working in teams, but teams are better when people learn from their mistakes and focus on leveraging their abilities while keeping flaws in check. Being a part of a team where people are just retarded is stressful, because too much energy is wasted on damage control as opposed to moving forward.

I know none of you are probably going to read that bukkake-dump of text, haha. But it helped me to form those things into words.

Long story short, though, when it comes to humility, I try to be a realist about it. I'm not going to completely go off the deep end and say "Oh, I'm nothing," because I'm not. I was blessed with a good mind, and I got to where I am now with a lot of hard work and learning. That doesn't mean, though, that other people can't be at the same level or better, as there are plenty of those people who exist. I'm trying to work a bit at being more humble, since I tend to get carried away from time to time. As most of my arrogance stems from bitterness and jealousy, I have to remember that while my situation has sucked, I have a decent life right now that many, many others would love to have, and so I have to be thankful and humble for my good luck.