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Lost Motivation to Step for FFR
Posted on: August 20, 2022, at 05:12:06am

Over the past few years I've realized that I've done nothing particularly interesting stepping-wise. Files like Thunder Light used to keep me going, because I knew I still had the creative inspiration to make something that was technically proficient, fun to play, and actually novel. Lately all I've done is just make files everyone's seen before. Although I still think I make high quality files, just making more of the same just isn't doing it for me anymore.

The bad reaction from top players to Heartbreak Furry Fandom is discouraging too. Because I follow the community less I don't think I have the skill anymore to make something at the exact correct difficulty to capture that feeling of "I can't do it now but I can barely improve and hit it." This is something I used to really enjoy trying to do, because it gave a secondary objective beyond just "make a good file" which I have done literally thousands of times before.

FFR encouraging dumps is the last straw for me. It's good to know over the years I've put a ton of effort into finding a good song and making everything in my file carefully synced and now they will share the shelf with a genre of file literally named after shit. After all, FFR's community grew so much in the late 2000s off the idea of having a well-curated set of files that were easily available online and held to high standards, so dropping a fat load all over that legacy is the next logical step for the site to take now. Very inspiring.

The running joke is "dumps are great because they allow people who are not talented enough to make regular stepcharts to participate in the stepping community" but I think it's the truth. If dumps start becoming more popular, why even make non-dump charts? While it's true that dumps are freeing in terms of song choice, and making a good dump does take some technique, with a dump you don't have to sync everything perfectly, don't have to worry about technical considerations in places where they could be inconvenient, and there's significantly less artistry to matching patterns to what the music gives you. A lower effort, higher reward style of stepping that dilutes what makes FFR unqiue. It's a huge shift in philosophy that I don't like, so... I'll leave.

Going to probably focus on getting some more Stepmania packs out if I do any rhythm game work, maybe try getting better at converting my files to osu!mania. With FFR, because the files are publicly curated, I need to conform to what kind of files are best for the site, but for Stepmania pack releases and converts, I can just step whatever I would like. That freedom still gives me room to squeeze the last bits of creativity I might be able to put into 4 arrows, if there's any left.

And honestly, maybe after 17 years it's okay that I find a new hobby...

  1. Have you considered contributing to stepping the (almost) entire Venetian Snares discography as your new hobby?

  2. hff is ahead of its time. it'll be a legendary file for years to come

  3. (I'm splitting this up into 3 comments, since FFR limits comments to 1,000 characters)
    I genuinely hope this post was just a heat-of-the-moment result of the HFF backlash, and I believe it is simply because of how out of character this is from what I've observed of your behavior. Usually I've seen you as a fairly modest individual for someone of your experience, and pretty open minded to changes in the times (After all, you even made a dump pack once and submitted your dumps to other dump packs before), but both of those qualities are completely and utterly absent from this post. I don't think I have seen a single post on the internet with as much unwarranted self-gratification and bashing of the efforts of a community as this one, and as someone that's looked through the archives of ODI and many old FFR posts, that's saying something.

  4. How can you say that every single one of the thousands of files you've made is good, and that you've made high quality files in every single style to possibly exist? When you look through the entire catalog of files in Stepmania and FFR, the combined efforts of thousands of charters each with their own music tastes and styles, do you go for each and every file "Yeah, I've done something just like this, and just as good if not better"? And you have the audacity to state that the endeavors of communities over the past 15 years to develop a new style of charting, one that you've only ever touched the surface of, completely lacks any merit as an art and cannot coexist with traditional files in FFR, even though there's plenty of charters who not only make high quality files of both styles but manage to blend both concepts together to great success?

  5. Someone of your experience and maturity should never stoop down to making a post as ignorant and disparaging as this, and I really do hope that sometime in the near future hindsight kicks in and you realize how bad this post makes you look and take back these stances, or at least rephrase them so you don't come off as shitting on literally everyone else that has taken charting for this game with any amount of seriousness, dump charter or not.

  6. One last note: I really don't want this to be misconstrued as a personal attack against your character in general. My outrage is just against this post, and the 3 comments above are an attempt at solely conveying how I feel about this, motivated by others expressing similar sentiments privately. If you make it clear that this post is not representative of your perspective with a clear mind, or at least not with the same level of severity and vitriol, then I have very little against you.

  7. Where the fuck did I say all my files are good? Where the fuck did I say I've done better than everyone else's files? What the fuck?
    If you're going to read things I didn't write just for a reason to be mad at me then go off, I guess.

  8. Just saying I am personally in a creative rut and making files that have been made before, and that's demoralizing to me.

  9. And I'm not about to leave that rut by exploring dumpfiles on FFR because they don't include so many of the things I find interesting in filemaking, such as song selection and getting perfect sync. Keep in mind again, this is all with regards to FFR - I'll probably still play around with dumps on Etterna/osu!mania because there's definitely lots more for me to learn with regards to the style.

  10. It's sad for me to see you leave, I've always looked up to you as a stepartists and you've been a big inspiration for me over the years.
    I'm a bit sad that you have so little faith in our current judge team. It's not like we'll let literal unsynced dumps pass through our QA... I think expressive(doesn't mean unsynced) patterns fit FFR pretty well actually since we don't have holds and mines to express certain sounds otherwise.
    Also, this is entirely subjective, but I find that trying to one-up yourself on every new file can be exhausting. Sometimes it's just about finding a nice song that you like, that is steppable and creating an enjoyable chart out of it. It doesn't have to be revolutionary. I often just chart to relax.

  11. "Where the fuck did I say all my files are good? Where the fuck did I say I've done better than everyone else's files? What the fuck?
    If you're going to read things I didn't write just for a reason to be mad at me then go off, I guess."
    Your post came off to me this way because of ""make a good file" which I have done literally thousands of times before.", and the opening paragraph of the creative rut, which I had interpreted as less you making a statement about your personal experience and more you making a statement about how there's just nothing left to do with charting at all. So combining these two together I interpreted it as "I've done nothing but make good files and have figured out everything there is about stepping."

  12. I'll admit it was overall a bit of a leap in logic, but at the time I felt like all of your messages were filled with spite (Likely mainly because I was focusing on the dump parts), so I guess I interpreted that as being written with spiteful intent as well. I'm not trying to excuse myself here, I probably should've hesitated myself before posting all of that, but that's how I got to that conclusion.

  13. As for the other two posts, that's fine and understandable, and if the original post had stated that (Or at least, in a less bitter tone) I probably wouldn't have bothered writing up a storm in the first place.

  14. Coming back to this a few weeks later, I regret making that big "call-out". It was well-intentioned, with the use of emotion meant to convey how I and others felt about the post, but looking back at it I don't think it accomplished what I wanted, and a more level-headed approach would have likely been better at getting my point across. Plus, I think it overall comes off as sensational, and I don't really like sensationalizing things.
    I'm fully aware that the dust has settled long ago on this, but I just wanted to let it be known that in hindsight I don't like that I made those posts, which ironically enough were somewhat of a knee-jerk reaction themselves.

  15. Hey hi19, I'm a bit late to this party, but I get what you are going through. I had the same realization (to a lesser degree) a couple of years ago when I started my retirement from the stepping scene. You have every right to be proud of the legacy you leave in this website, and I think it will never be forgotten. I don't know what new hobby you will find (mine is Go), but indeed there is a whole world out there that will allow you to find fresh ideas. Thanks for being one of my inspirations over the year, and I wish you lots of joy!

  16. Btw when I say "to a lesser degree", it's because I haven't created thousands of files like you did. I can't imagine the amount of time and effort you spent in your charting!

  17. Hey man, you've been one of my favorite step artists for absolute years, and I really hope you get the juice going again. Despite not playing often, I frequently seek your songs out. That flow you can get going, on hard very challenging - guru songs where not AMAZING but good players like me, can hit some amazing parts purely because of the note flow, is pretty bad ass.
    Hope you've been well too, I remember you from MP / Prochat days SO long ago.