Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. he waits.

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pisses.

Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

Chuck Norris does not go hunting, Chuck Norris goes killing.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now the Islands.

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

If at first you dont succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse...horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can eat a rubix cube and poop it out solved