was making a grilled cheese sandwich the other day
Posted on: June 2, 2012, at 07:15:08am

and got a text from a girl i like

she says she's right outside

i opened the door and let her in

can't even say hi before she starts kissing me

pushes me against the counter

still kissing

worried my grilled cheese will burn

decided to sex her anyway

slowly moved her to the left with each thrust so i can keep an eye on my grilled cheese

decided it's safer to move the pan off the stove so it doesn't burn

ended up sitting on the stove with her on top

forgot to turn the stove off

didn't notice my ass is burning

forgot i keep my hot air balloon inside my penis

heat goes up ass and into hot air balloon

tried to get it out

too late

hot penis balloon expanding inside girl

can't stop it

girl expanding

her stomach starts to split

her head explodes

didn't expect that

body rips in half

shredded girl meat all over the floor

was sad because i killed the girl with my hot penis balloon

realized it could have been a clown in a girl suit

got ready to fight

..

wasn't a clown

thought everything was ok for a second

realized i still managed to burn my grilled cheese

mfw

1. 1: EzExZeRo7497
   Posted at 7:44am on June 2nd, 2012

   mfw
2. 2: ilikexd
   Posted at 12:52pm on June 4th, 2012
3. 3: Choofers
   Posted at 9:26pm on June 4th, 2012

   what the
4. 4: NeoMasterPie
   Posted at 9:52pm on July 17th, 2012

   did you write this shit lmao
5. 5: Hateandhatred
   Posted at 1:52pm on July 18th, 2012

   Omg can we be best friends forever?
6. 6: leonid
   Posted at 10:16pm on August 21st, 2012

   girl expanding
7. 7: MarioNintendo
   Posted at 10:42pm on September 25th, 2012

   best read ever
8. 8: popsicle_3000
   Posted at 11:19pm on November 20th, 2012

   what did i just read
9. 9: TheDVDMan
   Posted at 2:11pm on January 9th, 2013

   where can i find more porn like this
10. 10: Lambdadelta
    Posted at 4:14pm on January 30th, 2013

    Possibly one of the greatest reads ever.
    
11. 11: Vares
    Posted at 11:41pm on February 10th, 2013

    oh mein gott
12. 12: Riotpolice
    Posted at 8:27pm on February 14th, 2013

    When does the book come out?
13. 13: Syhto
    Posted at 11:26pm on July 29th, 2013

    omfg i died lllloOOOlll
14. 14: kckagawa
    Posted at 11:41am on September 23rd, 2013

    clap clap clap :D
15. 15: ShadowDueler97
    Posted at 4:10pm on April 30th, 2014

    What in the hell?
    
16. 16: dvaskate
    Posted at 11:28am on June 16th, 2015

    You should've added the meat to the burnt grilled cheese.
17. 17: Dinglesberry
    Posted at 9:44am on September 22nd, 2017

    I'm spent